Tuesday, April 23, 2013

6 bulan

Mixed feelings while writing this post
macam rojak..kadang-kadang manis, kadang-kadang masam, kadang-kadang pahit
cepat ssungguh masa berlalu..sedar tak sedar I only have approximately 6 months to be here in Aussie
so much things happened...
when I called daddy yesterday..he asked me about my study..as usual I will replied him the same answer again and again.." semua ok ayah...biasalah busy sikit banyak assignments and banyak nak studies" and again he will repeated the same script but with different date at the end of the sentence " sabar..sabar..dah x lama lagi dah tu..sekarang bulan april...april may jun julai ogos september october november..ada lebih kurang 6 bulan je lagi tak lama pun...sabar sabar and laughing (gaya seorang ayah ketawa)" and I will respond him by saying " ayah ni saje je...eiiiii cepatnya masa berlalu"
ok..predicted conversation. my dad memang tak pandai nak sembang on phone. tapi kalau face to face bukan main dia punya cakap kalah YB..lagi-lagi nak musim PRU sekarang ni...oooo ayah..how I really miss u..
I wonder..adakah ayah gembira anaknya ini akan pulang? atau adakah ayah cuba untuk menenangkan anaknya ini yang serabut dengan kesibukan sebagai seorang pelajar?

yeah...6 months to go..
every time I passed by the neighborhoods, it reminds me the sweetness of the memories..
going to "happy and awesome circle" while looking at the bright stars and lovely full moon..
walking alone and reflecting myself...
I don't know whether I can still do the same thing again when I go back to Malaysia

ketidakpastiaan kerana kita juga tidak pasti sama ada kita masih bernyawa diatas muka bumi ini kemudian harinya
I am not sad because I have to leave my life as a student..but I am sad because I need to leave my big families here. Its a strong love. I love them because of Allah. They are my support system. There are so special. I will miss them so much.
ok...belum boleh sedih lagi sebab 6 bulan masih ada untuk menghargai setiap waktu bersama mereka insyaallah

I am afraid to go back to Malaysia and face the reality of the society. I don't want to answer my relatives question regarding marriage because I don't have the answer and I don't have any candidate as my future husband. Only Allah knows. I don't want them to ask me about my job and any personal questions which I don't have the answer too. and yes..now is a normal phenomenon that many of friends are getting engage and soon will get marry (biasalah dah habis belajar) and I am happy to be the "makcik" for their coming soon child (ada yg dah pregnant.cant believe it till now)
ok...enough celoteh for today..need to continue my reading for literature review..huargghhh

may Allah ease insyaallah